changes

If someone would’ve told me a year from now that I’d be where I am in life…I probably would’ve laughed in their face. I’ve grown & changed SO much in a year, elevated to what feels like a whole new level in life. I’ve gone through hell and back it seems over the last few months & now I can finally see the sunshine after the storm. I’ve found peace & understanding in things I never thought I could deal with, coming out stronger.  Instead of fighting all the chaos all the time, I decided to just ride this wave we call L I F E. There are always going to be unpredictable, unexplained things that happen and GUESS WHAT– you’re just gunna have to deal with it. *deep breaths in and out* I know, I know..it’s so much easier said than done (especially with anxiety) but here I am putting one foot forward everyday making a move in that positive direction. So that’s gotta count for something.

Trust me, I’m not here to make it seem like everyday I shit out rainbows & unicorns either. I have bad days, some REALLY bad days, and I’m here to just keep it real. I want a place to openly speak about not just my victories in life but my struggles as well. I refuse to let my past define or shape me into a negative bitter person and have fought hard for that positive shift in life. Not just for me, but for my kids, who deserve everything positive this life has to offer. The past year has put them through so many changes & I’ve done my best to shield them from the pains of life, keeping everything in their life as normal as I possibly could.

I can honestly say 2018 has been the year of productive HEALTHY change. Everything I’ve needed plus some & I am just so damn happy. It’s only been 4 months into the year and the genuine happiness has made me flourish. My kiddos are healthy & happy, we have an amazing roof over our heads & get all of our basic needs provided for. We’re just so blessed. Even on the bad days I’m reminded of just how blessed we are and how far we’ve come. Makes me feel like my bad days now aren’t even as bad as they used to be (once again keeping it moving in a positive direction). My little family has been what keeps me going most days. My main purpose in life was to be a mother honestly. I love guiding my children with support and love, helping them to become the person they were meant to be in this life. I don’t have to do anything else with my life for it to feel completed, being a mother to my wonderful children is my calling. I have never felt more at peace with anything.

I hope to soon get an amazing camera and add some cute photos (or photo shoots at that point, who are we kidding lol) to my posts. Maybe even get something with awesome video quality to throw in some Vlogs every once in awhile. Feels so amazing to have my own little space back to just talk freely about whatever I want. Oh how I’ve missed it!

xoxo, Kayla  images

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